Writing Done Right

Going Home-flash fiction

Okay, so I decided to have a little fun and go back to a writing prompt site that has helped me over the hump when I needed inspiration. In case you’re interested, you can find the link here: http://storyaday.org/ (Note: My intro to flash fiction and the shorts found in the Other Writing section were birthed there). Anyway, moving on…

The Prompt

Tell The Story Of A Journey

Use any transportation technology you can dream up, but include details to allow us to see, feel and perhaps even choke on the atmosphere.

Don’t forget to make something happen, and then resolve it (or leave it unresolved).

Give us a character we can root for (or against).

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Going Home

It’s dark. The walls are so close, just wriggling brings my skin in contact with them. And it’s damn hot, temperature increasing by the second. Each touch sizzles, and sweat beads on my skin, further burning the blistering patches. My mouth is so dry; my tongue sticks to the roof.

Where am I?

Review: it’s dark. And hot. I’m hovering off the floor in closed quarters. I’m moving through space. Can’t hear it, cuz you can’t hear sound in space. But I can sense it.

Never took a trip in my life, but now I’m moving through space in a tin can. I know the ones. I saw them, lined up like metal cigars, right before the launch. Expensive, silver tubes designed to hurtle though space—

Headed for my final resting place. The place where the undesired, unfit, and unwanted are sent. No good to society, we are just mouths to fill when there is not enough food or water. Rivers nearly dry, mud-pits all.

One strike was all it took to buy my ticket on this metal coffin.

Flying through space toward that glowing ball. To Sol, the giver of life. To Sol, the Reaper of mine.

The heat is unbearable now. Blisters burst. Hair shrivels and disintegrates. The smell, unbreathable.

Unbelievable pain.

Choking. Eyes tearing.

Hotter and hotter, still.

Last breath. Just a wheeze.

My last stop.

There is no getting out of Hell.

D.Forde (July 10, 2013)

16 Responses to “Going Home-flash fiction”

  1. Vashti Quiroz-Vega

    Yikes! Scary stuff there Dyane, and very creative. Sometimes people don’t realize how difficult writing flash fiction can be. You make it seem easy. 😀

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    Reply
    • Dyane

      Thx Vashti! I have come to love flash fiction. It’s like writing stories for The Twilight Zone. Anything can happen. Lol

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    • Dyane

      Hi Yolanda. That’s exactly what it’s like! I read the initial prompt followed by the story about a woman on a steam train which inspired it, and at first I was like, ‘How boring! I’m not doing that!’ All I could think of was inustrial times. Then I got a flash of space travel and off I went. You just write until you stop, really.

      Like

  2. Zee

    *shudder* I can never seem to bring myself to write anything horror-fic, but you have done a great job. I agree with Vashti – it’s people like you that make flash fiction seem easy.

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    Reply
    • Dyane

      Hey thx, Zee. 🙂 The good thing about flash fiction is that, as the writer, I don’t have to swell in that dark place too long. Get in and get out! lol
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Like

  3. authorphilpartington

    Great stuff! Seems like something to file away to use or develop later. One small thing if you ever do decide to use it for something more: if it’s expensive to kill them that way, why not just shoot them into space? 😛 (Love it!)

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    Reply
    • Dyane

      Lol thought of that too. I suppose that’s where the backstory would come in handy. There’s only so much I can squeeze into 230+ words, you know?! Lol

      Like

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